IS CRAZY JUST CONFIDENCE IN DISGUISE???

Yes, but there is more to it than that. Clearly, crazy does NOT always equal confidence, but they are a lot closer then I once thought. Webster defines crazy as “being out of the ordinary,” so why are we so quick to label this a bad thing? If ordinary was so great we’d have average looking, soft spoken, mild mannered, rocks stars and models. How much fun would that be?

Think about it, the thing that is so sexy and appealing about confident people is that there is something extraordinary about them. They make the world conform to their rules even if only in a small subtle ways. So where is the line between attractive and just creepy?

Ironically in my own personal life it’s been the fear of being perceived as “crazy” that often clashes with my own displays of confidence. People would say “you can’t just move across the country for a girl that’s crazy," or "that girl will think you’re crazy if you just start talking to her out of the blue," and "you’re going to take a campaign job where…why would any one want to live there that’s crazy ???”

Thankfully in all of these examples the crazy voices lost and I did all of the above anyway; however, this isn’t always the case. The sad thing is that I know I’ve missed opportunities out of the fear of being called crazy when in fact I should of embraced those labels because crazy is just confidence in disguise.

Now don’t quote me on this if you end up having to explain yourself to a judge just nod and know its true brother. There’s always going to be times when the outside world can’t understand what I’m doing and will call it crazy but since I’m the only one living with me I’ll chose instead to think of it as confidence.

What a morning!

As I rushed down the escalators I considered myself lucky because I could see the glow of my train barreling down the tunnel. As is usual early Friday morning, the Metro was sparse. Again, I considered myself lucky for having a seat all to myself.

I had to reassess my good fortune at the next stop when the announcement came “Blah Blah Blah… a passenger was struck by a train at Union Station… Blah Blah Blah… your train will be holding until further notice.” A somber mood swept the train as few of us simply looked down and shook our heads. I said a quick prayer for the lost soul and their family.

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the train started to move again only to stop at the next station. The dreadful announcement was made again as feelings of empathy were quickly being replaced with anxiety as I imagined all the possible reactions my vice-president would have when I wouldn’t be at my desk for this morning’s conference call. Apparently I wasn’t the only one on the train getting restless as cell phones tested the limits of our underground imprisonment.

Failing to be amused by the irony of having my train brake down on Friday the 13th I began to brood in an angry stew as I questioned “why today?” I spent the next forty-five minutes fuming about how my day (and possibly career and life) was being ruined while the recurring announcement droned on and on. Finally, the train inched to a stop within walking distance to my office.

I quickly left the train, deciding that ten blocks isn’t to much to walk and if I do it quick enough I may be able to turn back time. The swarms of people milling around on K St obviously disagreed with my plans. Infuriated at this point I rushed through the mix of tourists, homeless, and people who just didn’t care as much about their jobs as I do mine.

I was two blocks from my office when it happened. As I bumped and pushed my way through the crowds the simple words “it just makes me feel good” cut through my self obsessed cloud of panic and frustration.

I looked back to see a man in dirty work pants, an old blue T-shirt, and backwards cap crossing the street with a huge bag from McDonalds. I also noticed the homeless man whom I couldn’t even bare to look at earlier with two hot breakfast sandwiches. I watched the man with the bag go to all the benches on New York Ave and offer breakfast to those with no place else to go.

Before I had my first cup of coffee this stranger had already touched the lives of three people, and was on his way to impact at least ten more. He wasn’t doing anything grandiose, glamorous, or even hard; yet, his simple acts were making a real difference. He reminded me not only of how lucky I really am, but also all the opportunities I have to be of service. Today reminded me of how short life is and how easy it is make some else’s day when I’m not consumed with my own petty problems.

The after effects

It’s been a few years now, and I still think about this selfless man who I never even spoke too. His actions have inspired me to not only follow his example, but also serve as a reminder to how I want to live my life.

I think this day had such an impact on me because it symbolized so much of the principles of life itself. When I’m trapped in my train of self obsession, when I’m only thinking about me and what’s going to happen to me then I’m stuck with frustration, anxiety, anger, and I miss the real gift: the opportunity to be of service. When I’ve had those brief moments where I can get outside myself and really think just about how I can help another the benefits have been overwhelming.

Things I'm Grateful for Today!!!

Brent’s Gratitude List
(In no particular order)

1. Awareness of the living presence of God in all aspects of my life today.
2. Knowing what its like to make a pretty girl smile (truth be told they are all pretty when they are smiling).
3. An old man who used to talk to me about the importance of an “Attitude of Gratitude.”
4. Having loved and been loved.
5. My family.
6. Countless people who have helped me along the way.
7. People who have changed the way I look at the world.
8. People who make me laugh.
9. The opportunity to see this country, especially the under served overlooked rural and poor comminutes of the south and Midwest.
10. Boobs.
11. The opportunity to be of service.
12. The simple beauty of being outside.
13. Music that makes me sing along.
    
    
    

Shooting ourselves in the foot!!!!

I wish I could be more optimistic about this week's Democratic performance, but it seems to me that once again we are snatching defeat with both arms from the jaws of victory.

Last week we were in perfect position to exhibit true leadership in the wake of a scandal ridden right wing, but instead of capitalizing off of that by proactively articulating our positive values and differences with the corrupt greedy right wing majority, we squandered the national spotlight to the losing Alito fight.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no fan of Alito it's just that anyone can see there is no way we are going to win this fight. Furthermore we don't deserve to win this one because we have no smoking gun on this guy.

Knowing that we weren't going to win I can't for the life of me understand why we would let the right wing change the subject from the issues we were winning (Iraq, Delay, Abermoff, social security, healthcare, Medicare, ect.)

Sure, in my personal life I've shoot myself in the foot countless times by trying to impress a girl and saying something really lame, or not planning my day well enough ahead of time and losing a day to self indulgence, to leaving the bitchy message about my ex-girlfriend on my ex girlfriends voicemail by mistake.

No doubt about it I've done some really stupid things and will continue to do so. However today I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and I can't do so until I first admit them to myself. I hate to always be bithcing about democrats on this blog, but as a democrat my hope is that as a party we can learn from all of our mistakes and victories.

Louisville Here I come

OK, so I'm moving to my 9th different city of the past two and half years and am going through the usual roller coaster ride. You know the typical stuff excitement, anxiety, and denial, all while pondering if I will have ever have a stable life. Doubtful about the last one, but content because the truth is right now I wouldn't have it any other way.

I love my life and all the opportunities I've been given even if it means I must give up the stabilities and comforts of a normal steady life.

In fact the biggest twinge of fear that I've had about moving to Louisville has been that all the woman here will be fat and that in a torrid moment of loneliness I'll become a bloated baby's daddy. For all the spiritual development I've worked on I guess a part of me is still a just horny shallow guy.

I know this is petty and possibly unfair to the fine woman of Louisville but when I spoke with a friend of mine who lived in Louisville for a year all he would say to me about it is "if it's not fried its not food."

I'm sure my old mentor Ed Chandler would say it sounds like I'm really afraid of becoming overweight myself. He'd probably be right. I randomly go through these fitness spasms where I do everything I can to become healthy. Working out, eating right, body shaving, and giving up the meat and sugars are the sure signs of my kamikaze health cycle. I never really let myself go to far in the other extreme, but I just don't consistently do all the things I should.




DANGNABIT there it is again, a lack of consistency in my life. I wonder if I did develop these helpful consistent habits in my personal life if my outside life will stabilize too??? Hmmm I hope not but that's a blog for another day.

Before I send off though I want to give a shout out to my girl Kelli and all the VA Taoist (http://www.taopractice.org/). Thanks for reminding me who and what I'm all about.




Over & Out!!!!

DEMOCRATS ARE BLOWING IT AGAIN!!

Democrats need to learn that we can't just be the party of naysayers. We need to develop a CLEAR vision and purpose so we can capitalize off all these republican scandals. We can't just point fingers especially while our own leadership is refusing to give back the same money.

The american people are fed up with these scandals and they desperatly want some body with an once of intergrity to say enough is enough and get in front of this issue. I'm a loyal democrat but I'd love to see some more leadership from my party. As the party out of power we will never get it back if we can't show the american people some positive vision.

Bring Back Bill!!!

The days when it was all about Dick!

The days when it was all about Dick.

I'll never forget working the IA caucus for Congressman Gebphardt. I met some amazing people, both on staff and locals. I'm grateful for having the opportunity to serve such a great man whose ideas would have helped working families all over the country.

Hate the war NOT the Soldiers!!!!!

A few years old, but still fighting!!!

While I hate the way we got into this war, I am touched by the courage, honor, and love of country that I’ve seen thrive from our soldiers. Growing up in Virginia, just outside of Washington DC, I always felt more patriotic then most. I was proud to know that I was living in the most powerful city in the world! Every time I went on a field trip to or drove by the Capital/ White House I would gaze mesmerized by the magnitude, history, and spirit of what those buildings represented and how fortunate I was to live in their midst. I was amazed how day in and day out decisions were made, as casually as any other, which would ripple out across the world.

As you probably already knew, I spent the last few years working on political campaigns all over the country. I wasn’t happy with the direction of this country so I felt compelled to try and change it. While Election Day didn’t go the way I had hoped, I was blessed to discover that the real spirit of America is alive and well and isn’t confined to Washington DC. The real spirit of America is being channeled by young people across this country, mostly from small towns and poor inner cities.

In my journeys, I’ve been humbled to meet so many smart, able-bodied young men and women who volunteered to join our Military and serve overseas. “My country needed me” was the only answer they’d give me as I struggled to make sense of their choice in life. These brave soldiers never gave it another thought.

Whether or not they agreed with the war, all of these exceptional young people put our well being ahead of theirs. They love their families and friends just as much as I love mine. They have dreams and ambitions just as I do; yet, they are willing to sacrifice IT ALL simply to protect and serve the greater good. When I think about the full magnitude of their service I’m embarrassed by how little I’ve done.

While my experiences pale in comparison to theirs, I feel obligated to honor their memory as best I can. I hope you will join me in honoring their bravery, love, and service in our thoughts and prayers not just on the 4th of July but everyday.

Guiding Values

While I've spent much of my life working in broad ways to help other people, I'm beginning to feel the need to refine my efforts in a more clear and precise way. I've done everything from mentoring troubled youth, to volunteering on crisis phone lines, and running statewide ballot issue and political campaigns.

I have always been driven by general sense of social justice and I am grateful for all the opportunities to serve I've had.I've come to rely on my own divine internal compass and now with the abundance of service opportunities out there I'd like to more clearly define my own personal principles and values.

My plan is to do this on paper and establish a few core values that will help guide me in offering the most of myself to the world.I'm curious if any one out there has ever done anything like this before and what your results were???

Thanks!

B