We’ve all done it, and you know you’re guilty too. It starts innocent enough, we’re leaving what was intended to be a quick to the point message but the wheels suddenly fall off the wagon and we just can’t stop talking. Before you know it that damn beep cuts us off, and now we’ve got the embarrassing choice of calling back to leaving another voicemail or letting the mutilated version stand.
Why do we do it? Are we so hungry to be heard uninterrupted that when the chance comes we act like a turrets patient and lose total control? We weren’t always like this were we? When voicemail wasn’t voicemail, but those clunky old answering machines did people fill up our tapes with laundry lists of what they did that day? I don’t think so. This seems to be a new social phenomenon as well as a definite cry for help.
When did it become ok to substitute a personal two-way connection with the audio equivalent of a post it note? An example, a candidate I used to work with, in a rush to get through her call sheets, would leave these long scripted messages for people asking them to give and raise money for her instead of waiting to talk to them directly. After hanging up she would sit a little taller and think “that was time saved and money in the bank.” When I later asked her why their checks hadn’t come in yet she was sure they just didn’t get her message… right.
Sometimes though we leave messages for people when we know they won’t be there so we can say at least we tried. Technology gives us the easy out for things that we should be adult enough to do one-on-one. For example the experience of calling in sick, telling people off, apologizing or any number of other unpleasant conversations are avoided swiftly with voicemail. I’m guilty of these too and as chickening out goes leaving voicemail is only slightly more respectable then the email break up, but do we pay a higher price for this avoidance?
The long voicemail isn’t always bad though. In my travels I love getting a long authentic voicemail from an old friend I haven’t seen in a while. It has to be spontaneous and free flowing like a real conversation with me would be. As the petty man that I am, it also has to be from some one I really like too. If I’m just unsure or neutral about the person a long voicemail can definitely push them into the person to avoid category. Like the brutally honest scene from “Swingers,” I’ve perpetrated this kamikaze move on a few unsuspecting woman as well.
While the long voicemail can occasionally be a delicious treat, like a fine cigar it shouldn’t cross our lips every day. Why is it that as Americans we must always try to turn the rare luxury into an everyday thing? As my country boss scolded me a few months ago “for Christ sake man your name, number and time to call back will do.”
PS
This does not apply to program calls!
